To be announced

Eleven things I will serve my best never to put in a fantasy novel unless I am trying to undermine them, and in fact could do without entirely from now on, thanks

1. Villains who are gay/perverted/obese/epicurean/puppy killers because that's just what villains, DO, man.

2. Heroes who, upon three second's exposure to a situation come up with a beautifully elegant plan to solve the problems and save the village - that doesn't wait three beats and blow up in their faces.

3. Social systems that are absolutely, 100 percent and without exception internally consistent.

4. A boy and girl who are childhood friends, and the boy/girl's agonizing, unrequited love is returned as soon as s/he has the nerve to speak up.

4a. especially if all the other plotty stuff in the story becomes irrelevant after that happy event.

5. a human fighter and an elven ranger/mage and a dwarven warrior and a clever thief (with a heart of gold) and an out of his depth dude walk into a bar...
5a. no, they don't know each other. what gave you that idea?

6. you can eat anything you want, as long as it's a hearty stew.
6a. and you can drink anything you want, as long as it's beer or wine. quality varies.

7. never mind that other stuff - we've got to restore this person to the throne and fix EVERYTHING in one fell swoop!

8. there's a market quarter in town. everybody shops there. see that girl in the kerchief and mended shoes? she's actually the crown princess. she figures she's fooling everyone in town. we keep an eye out for her, poor thing...

9. farmgirl/boy, after his/her sleepy pastoral village is utterly destroyed by maurauding bandits/enemy soldiers on reconaissance/ brutal military overlords of his/her unjust country, sets out to seek his/her fortune once that funny old man comes back in town just in time to be too late and guide him/her to his/her destiny as a saviour.

10. elves are cool and endlessly helpful to humans!
10a. elves are self-centered little prats and won't help humans!
10b. except this one abandonded farmboy/girl that this funny old man dropped off two days ago...

11. misunderstood adolescent is taken away by some funny old man and zomg meets a magical animal that will love him/her no matter what! in service to a just ruler, naturally.

( there's something comforting about a quiz you already know the outcome for )

Elder Goth and Old School Punk is pretty much dead on. I wonder what a Mope Rocker is, though? (it's probably picking on me for likeing New Order and The Smiths. well, fuck 'em.)

I laugh very hard at this.

I wonder what all the choices are?

anyway, 93:93.

Aleister Crowley You two would probably really get along!

Founder of Modern Magick "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law."

yes, I changed the photo. the other photo was dumb.

Link: The Religion Founder You Resemble Test written by Stinkbot on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

I am an Animated Designer.


i think it's 42% right.


and no adenine, thymine, guanine, or cytosine were harmed in the making of this quiz. though we wish they'd beat on the marketing dorks.

but matociquala has double dog dared us to post the awfullest, grottiest, ancientest piece of juvenilia you still have a word processor that will open for International embarass yourself as an artist day.

And well hell. Why not?

Suffering Sappho, i'll tell you why not. It's AWFUL. dear Eris. I was trying to tag it for the digusting over-use of italics and I had to flee.

It's got it all! purple prose, awful dialogue, hyphenated names, only 2% of the worldbuilding on the page, and what did make it there didn't get explained... and an incredibly arrogant heroine with a distinct adoration of the pretentious! best of all, it's Sword and Sorcery!

Oh, and final warning - I wrote this firmly in my I wanna write JUST LIKE TANITH LEE fangirl fangirl fangirl phase. I love Tanith, don't get me wrong. but wow what was I thinking.

5000 words of PAIN. and I'll use the first sentence as my Lj-cut so you know better than to click it. ain't I kind?


( The Third Day after Az-Arila's Ordeal dawned scarlet and salmon, and the aftertaste of exile still stung. )

I really hope you didn't read that. If you did, I'm very sorry. ag. but I'm still very pleased with my monster! I obviously missed my calling as a contributor to the Monster Manual...

From katen
1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.

02:16 pm April 6th, 2003

good setting is grounded in the right vivid details - if I wanted to show someone who was poor but had a strong aesthetic sense, I might say that their single room apartment was bare of anything save a black sheeted futon on the floor and a heavy bottomed glass vase with a single stem orchid, anchored by black river stones.

Oh and for all you "i think too fast to get to sleep" people:

Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab's Dream Formula #1 - Somnus.

I think it smells like lavender and lemon verbena and something bitterly herbal, but I didn't get a chance to find out - I put some on my throat and it was Lights Out Chelsea. I mean boom, gone, and I'm the girl who can stay awake through prescription sleeping pills.

I don't remember dreaming. That's also a comfort, considering the adventures my sleepy brain has been giving me lately...

Obviously this is going on me "need a bigger bottle" list.

I'm really late on the first line work in progress meme, but I wasn't at home so I couldn't play until now. So there! so here goes (any comments about the status of each story is behind the cuts:)

The Price of All Your Faces
Science Fiction, 12,000 words (lost final version, need to revise)

Kesia Washington cut the lights, looked into a small hand mirror, and said, "I believe in Bloody Mary, I believe in Bloody Mary, I believe in Bloody Mary."

( Read more... )

Scaredyfox
Science Fiction, 8500 words (needs complete overhaul)

A woman stands at a light rail platform in her own nine foot circle at rush hour: Her tongue rolls wildly, and she gurgles and she spasms and she lurches and it's all the magic she needs to turn ostentatiously invisible.

( Read more... )

Lifting the Scales (Working Title)
Fantasy, 31,750 words (incomplete)

"I can't afford to buy these from you," I said, and set the spectacles back in their velvet-lined box. "They're enchanted."

( Read more... )

The Lady of Cats and the Carp King
Fantasy, 2,260 wards (incomplete)

The nightingale flew up, up, up to a stone parapet upon the highest peaks of jagged purple mountains to the hand of the Lady of Cats; she sang the news from a week of travel, her voice vibrato with terror.

( Read more... )

Rapture
Science Fiction, 1000 words (incomplete)

Everyone looked up when the air screamed, but the rocket was already gone--they saw only the smoke, spiralled into a white dove that rose from fluorocarbons and ashes, en route to Heaven.

( Read more... )

Fire, Iron, Wooden Monkey
Science Fiction, 3530 words (incomplete)

When Jenz touched the call screen beside suite B, a bell chimed inside and someone started screaming.

( Read more... )

Dea Veridis
Fantasy, 4160 words (incomplete)

Another tumbler from the bartender, exchanged for three two-dollar bills etched with red swirled line drawings of the queen’s face, and he extracted a flask from his long black coat and poured another draught of cascading clear green.

( Read more... )

1. Find the top 100 songs from the year you graduated from high school.
2. Cut and paste them into your journal.
3. Bold the ones you like(d).
4. Underline your favorite.
5. Strike through the songs you loathe.
6. Italicize the songs you're pretty sure you've never heard.

( Who the hell ARE these people? was I living under a rock? who are these bands? what are these songs? What was I listening to in high school because it wasn't <i>this</i> stuff. )

I killed my radio in 1984.

that's probably why I don't have a clue what these songs are. the music I was listening to had nothing to do with billboards top hits of whatever.

What WAS I listening to in 1987?

oh yeah.

( the cyborg meme and the swearword meme. )

	August 19, 2005 #4 columbines
	August 19, 2005 #5 copper Dragonfly

I have completed my daft deep space scarf, and a black bumpy wool scarf that visually reminds me of persian lamb. i am now at loose ends. I could try more of my laughable knitting. if i don't practice, I'll never get good at it, right?