To be announced

and so, by extension, must be black patent open toed 5 inch spike heeled pumps.

but DAMN! I don't feel like a patriarch in these things...

(yes. I bought another pair of shoes. and even sadder? they're exactly the same design as the last pair of shoes I bought. except, you know. black patent leather.)

I bought two new dresses, too. it can be spring ANY TIME NOW kthx.

( the shoe so nice, I bought it twice )

I figured out how to use the delayed exposure feture on my camera.

I should read the manual more often.





( herein lies all the arty glamour! )

If there is one thing that I've concocted in my kitchen and want all my friends to have as a gift, it's sugar scrub. hot damn, but it's excellent. I just got out of a tub and I can't stop touching myself. (Now Now. Don't be dirty.)

but if I can't give you your own jar of this, since it's impractical, I can teach you how to mix up your own, and you will glow and be soft.

It's so simple. in a round bottom bowl, I add about a tablespoon of honey. I used liquid honey, but it does not have to be. just add a spoonful of honey to a bowl.

my vegan friends may use molasses instead.

then I pour on sugar. white sugar or brown, it matters not. I add about a quarter cup of sugar. I stir this into a thick paste that is held together by the honey. I mix that all up. This is sugar scrub. You may take it up to the bathroom now.

you may, however, wish to go with the OMG deluxe addition, and crush a 1 inch by 1 inch by 1/2 inch slab of cocoa butter to a fine dust and add this to your scrub. solid cocoa butter, mind, not cocoa butter cream in a jar. it's hard at room temperature but will melt when warmed by bathub warmed skin.

you may wish to scent this with a little perfume oil. *cough*blackphoenixalchemylab*cough*

you may wish to crush some baby asprin, if you're not allergic to ASA, and add that as well. grownup asprin works too, but the coating is unpretty. aw, nobody will notice the unpretty. I wouldn't use more than a half dozen, even though it's going on your skin. Tylenol probably won't work.

soak in the tub/take a while in the shower. getting good and soaked helps the scrub do its magical work. you may wish to recline while enjoying the benefits of bath salts. books are a handy addition, if you choose the soak in the tub option.

If you soak in the tub, you might want to do the oil cleansing method on your face, or a clay masque. you can use the sugar scrub on your face. I did. I can't stop touching my face. (yeah. that's what I meant before.) you might want to do a deep conditioning treatment on your hair. what have you. just get wet and stay wet for a while.

soap up, or use your body wash. rinse.

then use the scrub. the sugar exfoliates. the honey moisturizes and carries a slight antibacterial effect that is good on zits. the cocoa butter is a built-in moisturizing cream. the perfume oil makes you smell mmm (but honey smells mmm too.) the baby aspirin fakes the effect of BHA. you've made enough for one bath. use it all! use it all over! do your feet twice!

shave, if you do that sort of thing. continue your bathing.

get out, pat yourself dry. you are clean! you glow! you're soft! you're fabulous! invite someone to touch you and feel how soft you are! (Now, don't be dirty. or do. heh.)