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Dec. 24th, 2006 01:37 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cpolkI've been wanting to post to lj but I just don't have anything I can say.
which isn't quite the same as not having anything to say, but there you go.
If I hadn't slept all day, I'd just go to bed. alas! I didn't mean to sleep all day - it just kind of happened. I've had the most messed up sleep schedule for the last week or so.
And I note something peculiar - as long as I'm around people or talking to people, I feel fine. As soon as I'm alone, the world turns grey. So naturally, I'm hiding up here in my room not talking to anybody.
Is this end of the year bullshit? is the stingy amount of daylight I'm getting doing this to me? It stinks. I don't want to glum around the house staring listlessly at the mismatched assortment of food in my kitchen and then turn around and walk out because making something just feels like too much effort. because it does feel like too much effort. i haven't actually eaten a meal as I define it (more food than I could carry in my hands without the assistance of a plate or bowl) in days. How many? um. dunno. four? five? at least there are mandarin oranges and chocolate covered cashews. I'm trying to read the books I got for christmas but I can't even remember what the previous sentence said so I just give up. And that sucks, because I've been wanting these particular books for years.
but put a human face in front of me and I perk up. I can focus. even just sitting in the same room with Wolf, knitting and ignoring Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, I felt a little better. better enough to keep focused on knitting and listen to the dialogue, anyway.
but I came up here to check on my e-mail and immediately sank back into feeling grey. I can get up and go downtairs to sit by Wolf and ignore Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, but I almost feel as if I don't have the energy to move.
Okay, I know what's good for me. Up...
which isn't quite the same as not having anything to say, but there you go.
If I hadn't slept all day, I'd just go to bed. alas! I didn't mean to sleep all day - it just kind of happened. I've had the most messed up sleep schedule for the last week or so.
And I note something peculiar - as long as I'm around people or talking to people, I feel fine. As soon as I'm alone, the world turns grey. So naturally, I'm hiding up here in my room not talking to anybody.
Is this end of the year bullshit? is the stingy amount of daylight I'm getting doing this to me? It stinks. I don't want to glum around the house staring listlessly at the mismatched assortment of food in my kitchen and then turn around and walk out because making something just feels like too much effort. because it does feel like too much effort. i haven't actually eaten a meal as I define it (more food than I could carry in my hands without the assistance of a plate or bowl) in days. How many? um. dunno. four? five? at least there are mandarin oranges and chocolate covered cashews. I'm trying to read the books I got for christmas but I can't even remember what the previous sentence said so I just give up. And that sucks, because I've been wanting these particular books for years.
but put a human face in front of me and I perk up. I can focus. even just sitting in the same room with Wolf, knitting and ignoring Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, I felt a little better. better enough to keep focused on knitting and listen to the dialogue, anyway.
but I came up here to check on my e-mail and immediately sank back into feeling grey. I can get up and go downtairs to sit by Wolf and ignore Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, but I almost feel as if I don't have the energy to move.
Okay, I know what's good for me. Up...