cross my fingers, light my candles

I went for my interview on friday for housing - a double shot, as I was seeing the intake worker *and* the program director at the same time, when usually you see one, then the other one afterward.

there are still spaces available in the new building, and I think the interview went pretty well - I never got a moment where I felt like I'd lost them.

And I feel like I'd been given information about the program, and caught certain nuances of language that revealed a decision already made - you know how that is from job interviews, right? where the interview gives the slip that they've already decided to hire you by what tenses they use and how offertory they are with their pronouns, even though you're not officially supposed to know yet.

So I'm hopeful. But because I'm hopeful, I'm also scared. I'm imagining my life in this place, and it's like my house dreams of all these years, where I imagine myself living somewhere *great* and on my own, imagining things like cooking, watching my budget roomba do its thingworking, washing dishes, putting my feet up and getting my aura all over everything. And in the midst of all these notions and fantasies, the question "but what if it doesn't happen?" haunts me. way to curdle my tummy, anxiety disorder!

I'll be having another appointment tomorrow with my T, and we'll just see if she has any information for me, to get me through the anxious limbo that I dislike so much.