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How? How? Negative Self-Talk, that's how. It's a ninja out to kill my growth and happiness. It's a surefire way to make sure that I fail before I even start.
I'm working on my recovery to nourish my creativity. I'm using the Artist's Way and morning pages and all that happy stuff. and yesterday I came up with three ideas - one involved writing a book, one involved making clothing, and one involved a mixed media artistic project. They were huge ideas, sweeping ideas, filled with beauty and vision and even giving to the community.
And after every one of these Ideas, I thought, "but I can't do that because I'm not good enough to do that/I don't know how to do that/I don't have the money to do that/I will never get that done." wham! I'm on the floor before I even move! except that I looked for the positive. Those three ideas, while being huge and beyond my skills, are FANTASTIC ideas. I had three great ideas in a single day! and then I worked out how I could do all of those things eventually, when I got the experience to do them.
So I wrote them all down in my morning pages and patted myself on the back for coming up with wonderful projects that I can do when I'm ready - if I haven't gone on to something cooler later. So instead of feeding my inadequate, never accomplish anything, not good enough self, I nourished my artistic vision and the well of constant idea self.
part of what started this was writing down the negative things I say to myself, and then working out how to make them positive. so when I think, "I'm lazy and unmotivated and I'll never accomplish anything." I counter it. "I'm careful and like to do things in small, easily attainable stages. I take my time with things because I like to do things mindfully - with awareness of every aspect. I can finish a big project. Today I will ____ for 15 minutes. I will start at ____."
and then I come up with a 15 minute task, because I can do anything for 15 minutes. usually I keep going past the time the timer dings to tell me 15 minutes is up, but I don't require that of myself. I pick a time that's convenient and stick to it. I know what my day is like. I know when I have 15 minutes to embroider a sampler or sketch a still life in my house. then it becomes my creativity appointment. anybody who wants that time gets told, "I have an appointment at that time. Thanks for inviting/asking me."
in summary: counter negative self talk with positive self talk, and then make an appointment to act on the positive self talk for 15 minutes. It really works for me. and it's adaptable:
"I'm such a slob."
"I'm comfortable in casual surroundings, and I can get this space organized. Today I will wash dishes for 15 minutes. I'll start at 5:30."
"I wish I was as fit as I was when I was younger."
"I enjoy moving and having fun, and I can get fit. Today I will stretch for 15 minutes. I'll start at noon."
I've been swirling with enthusiasm these past few days. Great things have been happening to me.
now I have a writing appointment at 4, and I have stuff to do before I can comfortably get started.
I'm working on my recovery to nourish my creativity. I'm using the Artist's Way and morning pages and all that happy stuff. and yesterday I came up with three ideas - one involved writing a book, one involved making clothing, and one involved a mixed media artistic project. They were huge ideas, sweeping ideas, filled with beauty and vision and even giving to the community.
And after every one of these Ideas, I thought, "but I can't do that because I'm not good enough to do that/I don't know how to do that/I don't have the money to do that/I will never get that done." wham! I'm on the floor before I even move! except that I looked for the positive. Those three ideas, while being huge and beyond my skills, are FANTASTIC ideas. I had three great ideas in a single day! and then I worked out how I could do all of those things eventually, when I got the experience to do them.
So I wrote them all down in my morning pages and patted myself on the back for coming up with wonderful projects that I can do when I'm ready - if I haven't gone on to something cooler later. So instead of feeding my inadequate, never accomplish anything, not good enough self, I nourished my artistic vision and the well of constant idea self.
part of what started this was writing down the negative things I say to myself, and then working out how to make them positive. so when I think, "I'm lazy and unmotivated and I'll never accomplish anything." I counter it. "I'm careful and like to do things in small, easily attainable stages. I take my time with things because I like to do things mindfully - with awareness of every aspect. I can finish a big project. Today I will ____ for 15 minutes. I will start at ____."
and then I come up with a 15 minute task, because I can do anything for 15 minutes. usually I keep going past the time the timer dings to tell me 15 minutes is up, but I don't require that of myself. I pick a time that's convenient and stick to it. I know what my day is like. I know when I have 15 minutes to embroider a sampler or sketch a still life in my house. then it becomes my creativity appointment. anybody who wants that time gets told, "I have an appointment at that time. Thanks for inviting/asking me."
in summary: counter negative self talk with positive self talk, and then make an appointment to act on the positive self talk for 15 minutes. It really works for me. and it's adaptable:
"I'm such a slob."
"I'm comfortable in casual surroundings, and I can get this space organized. Today I will wash dishes for 15 minutes. I'll start at 5:30."
"I wish I was as fit as I was when I was younger."
"I enjoy moving and having fun, and I can get fit. Today I will stretch for 15 minutes. I'll start at noon."
I've been swirling with enthusiasm these past few days. Great things have been happening to me.
now I have a writing appointment at 4, and I have stuff to do before I can comfortably get started.
